***Dedicated to Pirate Diego, who has a truly loving heart, from his friend Pirate Angelita, I'll miss you much! Dean Martin.******
In the human services field, specifically Mental Health services direct care, we often say "OH I love such and such they are great!" Whatever. Oftentimes what I think we really mean is "Oh I favor such and such because (when) they don't give me any trouble, stress me out, make me want to beat my head against a brick wall, throw myself under a bullet train coming from Tokyo at 250 mph while cannibals eat my toes, or vomit from the smell when they don't wash for a week, or fill in your own blank ____________. "
I certainly know I've been guilty of this fickle love. The sharks and cacti of this world are MUCH harder to show love to then the nice smelling cuddly sweethearts. In other words those with prickles and teeth are less likely to show you their softer side. If they do you've usually earned it...or unfortuantely from the jaded MH field...they want something...sometimes it's both, who doesn't have needs?
There is a dangerous game you can play in this field called "Just Desserts". I know it well, I fight it all the time as do many other MH care people. Difficult client? Demanding? Rude? ungrateful? Drugs? Lying? It's easy to personalize it...don't play. I'm warning you, don't play this game the only way you can win is by not letting yourself entertain the thoughts. You will become bitter and jaded. You say "My taxes go to support that person and they are buying drugs or drinking or supporting whatever other deletrious behavior that contributes to the general moral dessication of our already sick society. You want to see good people who you see trying to improve their lives get the help they need, after all they deserve it right? They aren't making trouble. They are being quiet and dutiful. We like those kind of people right? And those bad, sick people. Oh wait....they ARE sick...ouch ouch. At least in the MH field you have to remember...they are sick....not an excuse for all behavior, but that's how you depersonalize it. It's because they ARE sick.
While there is Breath there is hope. The Spirit of God breaths in those people too. Maybe my direct care doesn't do good or we drive each other nuts, or I pay to much in taxes. But pray for them I must. If I was to beat the just desserts game back and not give up in despair I MUST pray.
While there is Breath there is hope.
Don't get me wrong folks. I'm not saying I'm still happy my money supports people who don't try. In fact it can infuriate me if I stop and dwell on it to long. The key is though I'm not allowed to give up on these people...or myself. If I do, I'm SINNING. I'm not showing grace. I'm judging. That is NOT my jurisdiction in this life. Only God's.. Because Christ granted me grace and bears with me I have to bear with them as well. ESPECIALLY if they are believers, but even if they are not.
While there is Breath there is hope.
Compassion, for myself, toward difficult people (esepcially toward myself from myself) is rarely born of my own strength. This compassion is born of wisdom gained through the illumination and leading of God's light and truth (Psalm 43 was my meditation today) on darkness creating a definition, depth, and context for the love he wants me to show (notice I DID NOT say feel).
This doesn't just work for the MH field. No no! As I write this I realize God answered a prayer about NOT GIVING UP on people. Other people. People in your own life you know you love but maybe have a hard time loving right now because of a certain way they are acting or not acting.
Remember, while there is breath there is hope. And they can only hold their breath so long.
